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i didn't love you so you could fix me, though. i loved you because i wanted to be your umbrella. and i'm sorry that i was also your rain. /

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Thursday, 15 June 2017 | 0 sticky note(s)

first post in 2k17 woohoo!
im officially done with high school. bij yes.
exhausted? very, but the end pays off really well.. so no complaint :)

the first miracle happened guys.
when we got the result of our national exam, the teachers told me that i topped our grade, both science and social major. few weeks later, my friend gave me a list of top 10 highest scores for social national exam in my region(south tangerang). my name is at number 1.
im still shocked to this day, because man... i didnt expect that at aLL.

after the national exam, i still need to do a lot of shits to prepare myself to face the national uni entrance test. it was really hard. you studied, studied, and studied, but it just wasnt enough. so i did the test with a 'go big or go home' motto. and leave the rest of my effort to God.

the second miracle is,
i got accepted! 
happiness would be an understatement bcs one of my dreams is to help my parents. they throw hella lot of money for my education. they did tell me not to worry about it, but i do know that it was hard. i saw them struggling. and the fact that i went to a private high school didnt help at all.

i wanna say thanks to God, for blessing me with these amazing things. my parents and fam, for supporting me from the very beginning and having faith in me. my teachers, for helping me with informational stuff and supports, emotionally, cognitively. my besties, for being there for me anytime, anywhere, for being my anchor to keep me on the ground. and last but not least, as cheesy as this sounds, exo, for becoming my inspiration and support, and also my moodbooster anytime and every time when no one wasnt able to make me smile, for helping me cope up with my stress and insecurity.

so, yeah...  im more than happy:)
but i think, content, is a better word to describe how i feel right now.


"Lift your head to a higher place now.
The dawn will shine brighter than the sun."
—EXO; Cant Bring Me Down

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Friday, 30 December 2016 | 0 sticky note(s)

2016 is almost end woohoo! you and i have survived another year!

2016 was definitely better than 2015(at least for me). thank god. i lost 5 kgs lol

it was a wild ride but then i feel like 2016 is the calm before storm

honestly, from what i've learnt from these past years, i tell myself not to expect anything.
i mean, i expected things to go great, but then they weren't, and when i expected them to flop, they're excellent, so yeah. i stopped doing that.

i'd be lying if i told you that i lost hope. no. i do hope for stuff, for my future, and i do try to make them come true, but it's more like that i'm just going with the flow.

ok i honestly don't know how to explain it. like, ill just do my best and pray then wait for the result i guess..

2017 is my last year on high school. the road opened for me would be tough and hard. i'd fall a few times, but that's okay. i know i'll be smiling in the end because life is unfair, but they're not really that ugly.

there'll be a lot of sweat and tears, tho. i'll be separated from my best friends from high school and i'll be meeting a LOT of new people. socializing is just not for me, i feel tired thinking about it, ugh. let's just hope for the best.

i don't know what 2017 has on its pocket for me, but ready or not, here i come!

have a merry christmas and happy new year, folks !


"I'd rather bend than break."
—김종인

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Tuesday, 28 June 2016 | 0 sticky note(s)

i'm back with a new theme inspired by EXO's newest album, Ex'act Lucky One ver. c: 
imo Exodus>>>>Ex'act, but then it's EXO so i still love 'em.
(and yes, i did preorder Ex'act, also Lucky One ver., and it'll arrive in 2-3 days)

my 4th semester on high school is finished. my final scores on my report card are great. a lot better than my 3rd semester, actually. im proud of myself even with the amount of time i neglect my study for fanfics dammit. but i honestly thought that 4th semester was easier than the 3rd one but idk though. 

so now i'm here, in my room, enjoying my holiday, by opening 70 tabs of fic on my laptop and 100 tabs of fic on my phone. perfect.
plus, my school was generous enough to give its students a week more of holiday. yay.

so far so great.

until it hits me that this is my second last holiday in high school. time sure flies. that also means that a huge pile of exams is waiting in front of me. in other words, this holiday is calm before the storm. so might as well enjoy it until its last drop c;


UPDATE : i got pcy photocard and the bonus photocard from the fansite is also pcy lol


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